I still felt very messy and used after 95 days, for the next few months I couldn’t string up more than 2 months drug free, I would always end up drinking or drugging.
Although I was attending NA and AA meetings it just didn’t seem to work for me then. What I found there was happy people living drug free and people who had hope and were achieving their dreams. I really wanted that but for some reason it didn’t work for me back then.
A NA member suggested that I go to rehab and suggested I try WHOS New Beginnings. By that stage I was desperate; I wanted to kill myself because I found life too hard. I felt hopeless and pathetic because I couldn’t seem to get recovery.
I was constantly challenged on my behaviour and received support around what would benefit me in those areas. This was a turning point for me as I was unaware of the impact my behaviour had on others and myself. They were also big factors in why I would normally drink and use.
I’ve had many ups and downs here, seen a lot of people come and go, but I’ve done my best to work through tough times and seek support from my peers and staff. I held onto my chair no matter what. I have now learned how to get through tough times, seek support and work a program of recovery.
Things today are amazing. I have hopes and dreams, I’m setting goals for my future and I don’t feel like killing myself. I applied for study and was accepted – I start on Monday (18 July 2011).
I can’t believe how far I’ve come and I feel I deserve it because I’ve put the action in. This would not have been possible if I didn’t come to WHOS New Beginnings and I would most likely be dead. I am so grateful to this program and the people who have helped me along the way.
I am at the WHOS Exit Stage House now; I have 4 months until I move into my own place and will be continuing with study and my recovery…