Life before WHOS RTOD was absolute hell for me. I have one sister who is alive and 2 brothers deceased. My father passed away last year and my mum is dying from cancer. My 2 daughters who are now 12 and 7 are with their uncle as I psychologically lost my life after I went under the Rapid Ultra Implant detox (Naltrexone) in 2007. It sent me crazy. I’ve been in an extremely violent relationship for 16 years and after the Naltrexone detox is when I began seeking and got addicted to Xanax.

Xanax addiction was my stairwell to hell.  It was the only drug that made me feel better and made me numb from consuming only a few, which then became more , then from that became handfuls, and then from that became a bottle of 50 tablets morning and night.  It is drug you build a tolerance to straight away. I was seeing one doctor under 3 names. I’d dress different and she wouldn’t realise it was me. I don’t know if it was because she was 85 years old but I got what I went for all the time.

From thereon I started doctor shopping and buying bottles off the street and ended up doing crime and pharmacies were the prime and only target. I was going absolute rampant doing armed robberies, whatever to get my pills and my cocaine. I never cared what my life was going to become or when DoCs became involved with my daughters.  I was soon arrested with a firearm and sent to jail. Life pressures got to such a boiling point I tried to commit suicide and I was scheduled. I have this year been sectioned 3 times for being suicidal.

This disease has done so much damage to me and my family. I’ve been so selfish and my dear family are always the ones who suffer. I just want to keep doing this program and understand it in a productive way so I can use the tools I am gaining here in my future and in my recovery.

My goals to work towards are getting my daughters back, never do crimes again, become successful in being a great supportive and loving mother and I will get recovery.

Author: atcaxo