Xanax addiction was my stairwell to hell. It was the only drug that made me feel better and made me numb from consuming only a few, which then became more , then from that became handfuls, and then from that became a bottle of 50 tablets morning and night. It is drug you build a tolerance to straight away. I was seeing one doctor under 3 names. I’d dress different and she wouldn’t realise it was me. I don’t know if it was because she was 85 years old but I got what I went for all the time.
From thereon I started doctor shopping and buying bottles off the street and ended up doing crime and pharmacies were the prime and only target. I was going absolute rampant doing armed robberies, whatever to get my pills and my cocaine. I never cared what my life was going to become or when DoCs became involved with my daughters. I was soon arrested with a firearm and sent to jail. Life pressures got to such a boiling point I tried to commit suicide and I was scheduled. I have this year been sectioned 3 times for being suicidal.
This disease has done so much damage to me and my family. I’ve been so selfish and my dear family are always the ones who suffer. I just want to keep doing this program and understand it in a productive way so I can use the tools I am gaining here in my future and in my recovery.
My goals to work towards are getting my daughters back, never do crimes again, become successful in being a great supportive and loving mother and I will get recovery.